i get to live

The original EKG was a false positive. False positive for what, I don’t know. I was told that EKGs are often wrong for females. Even machines are sexist. Who is making all the AI anyhow? Think about that.

Long story short, I’m going to live and it’s not going to cost more than a few dollars a month to make that happen. If I do some proper planning and follow through, I might even make it to a hundred. My life insurance company would make a pretty penny.

I was angry the entire ride home as I held in my lap my bag of medications that I took for the doctor to look over. I was angry that I worried for nothing. Angry that I had to pay 50 bucks to find out that I worried for nothing. Angry that I have to take all that bullshit medication. Just angry. So I had a cigarette and chocolate icing when I got home. I still feel mad, lungs full of smoke and blood full of useless sugar, and still mad. By the way, Fitbit needs recharging and doesn’t need to know any of this.

That’s it. That’s all. Back to sleep.

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Author: uncaged

When Picasso painted a blue Seated Woman in a Chair, he was unconsciously thinking of me.

2 thoughts on “i get to live”

  1. I am far more glad you are alive than the alternative,
    even if that other self could offer offer such a burning of the bright.
    Why, such other ways to die than natural causes;
    we’ve been dying in such droves since we were sponge!
    but I’ve digressed.

    I’m glad you are well and writing still
    as it has grown stronger yet,
    though who could tell?

    Did you know David Foster Wallace killed himself while deep diving the IRS?
    I’m sure it was just a coincidence, but he bled himself so deep into that bureaucracy he hadn’t the urge to come back out alive.
    Grass is always greener
    I suppose.

    And surely there is enough angst and sorrow in this world than to think yourself only writing if you’re contributing.
    What of those lovely things,
    Feyman Knocking Boots in Midnight Labcoats,
    or Charting cosmic dust cross roadtrip skies?

    To be sad to be alive!
    but i’ve digressed.

    I’m so glad to see you well
    even if only distance clearly tells
    the totality of health
    fret less –,

    &breathe.

    Liked by 1 person

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